#AskHaj: Loves Me, but Is Hiding Me
Well Hello! Welcome to the 'Ask Haj' portion of this website. This section will be tailored to those questions which we all want to ask and need answers for, but are too afraid to directly approach anyone about them. 'Ask Haj' is a safe space to send in questions (firstname.lastname@example.org) at anytime and have them answered with full confidentiality. No names, contact info or any other information pertaining to the person asking will ever be disclosed, except for the answer to the question(s). So with that being said, lets get to our first question!
My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years now and things are great. I truly love him and he feels the same about me. He transferred to the same college as me before we started dating; we met in class and instantly clicked. My only problem is that he hasn't introduced me to his friends yet and always tends to hide the fact that we're dating. He wont say he's single but, he also doesn't go out and say that he's in a relationship with me to his friends and even acquaintances . We decided to move in together about seven months ago since he told me that he is very committed to our relationship. Things have been going great ever since. He told me that his parents are flying into town soon and wanted me to leave for a bit as he hasn't told them about our relationship. He said that the 'time isn't right'. I really love him but him hiding me from basically the entire world is really weird and makes me feel undervalued. I don't want to end things but I also don't want to be with someone who doesn't take pride in our relationship. What should I do?!"
- Loves me, But is Hiding me
Dear Loves me, But is Hiding me,
Sorry to hear you're in such a sticky situation :(. It sounds like you two have a strong bond since you've been together for 2+ years (and are currently living together). The best thing to do in situations like these is to sit down with your partner and discuss your feelings, concerns, and future expectations. I understand that you may feel hurt from him not acknowledging the relationship so openly and for asking you to move out temporarily, but everyone always has a reason for their actions and thoughts. I'm sure he does too. With that being said, you must also remember what YOU want from the relationship. Do not sell yourself short for any reason beyond the boundary of genuine love and care. Sometimes our perception is altered by attraction and deep connections that we start to lose focus of what we actually want in a partner. I'm not going to tell you whether you should or shouldn't stick around with him (fyi, no one should tell you) because that decision is ultimately between the two of you. Talking about it openly will eliminate ambiguity, confusion and remove any thoughts which can lead to misconceptions. So plan a date, go out to your favorite restaurant on a nice evening and ask him: "why don't you directly tell your friends about us?". "Is there a reason why we can't tell your parents about us?". Just make sure to keep a firm yet calm tone and thoroughly analyze his responses before replying. Good luck, I hope everything works out for both of you. ♥
Got a question for #AskHaj?! Send it in to email@example.com for a post or personal reply!